This is the the second in a series of articles about Bliss and Passion republished from the Visionary archive.
A POSITIVE PERSPECTIVE
– Lem Arnold
When I think of what keeps me sailing through life with a positive perspective on the people and the world around me, I think of my perspective of where I am now. (I will add that my partner, Pat Boyle, asked for the ability to respond to this article.)
I am a complete person. I have a tendency to not be as open to expressing my feelings, so sometimes I may seem standoffish. That’s just the insecurity speaking or because I am lost in thought. The complexity comes from the fact that often I operate on two levels simultaneously, emotional and intellectual, most times without realizing and hopefully better integrated than it sounds.
My intellectual side comes from a strong interest in analytical thinking, evaluating issues, acquiring data and coming up with solutions. I see challenges not as barriers but opportunities to challenge my own thoughts and abilities. I thrive on finding unique solutions to these challenges and sharing them with peers or friends. Much of this comes from my love of math as a child, especially doing complex calculations in my head without paper. In college this interest was significantly stimulated by an elective I took my freshman year that challenged us to find answers in fields beyond our educational training at the time by using a logic-based approach to problem-solving. This is a part of my daily life especially in the office as a physician as well as in everyday life experiences. This is also true with adoption of new technology – digital cameras and digital photography as an example. This does not feel impersonal, because it is the drive to bring positive results to those around me. I have learned that convincing people that my idea is a good solution requires that they need to have had time to process the problem for themselves before I share my proposed solution. So one thing I have learned is greater patience.
My creative drive also carries over into my gardening. It is a great way to see results of my work on a more concrete level. [pullquote align=”left” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]I thoroughly enjoy digging in the dirt and planting seeds and watching them grow. [/pullquote]
I thoroughly enjoy digging in the dirt and planting seeds and watching them grow. It is interesting that, at times, I enjoy planting and caring for the garden more than actually harvesting the product of my endeavors. (I can sometimes use help harvesting!) However, giving away the results is great fun and I so look forward to the arrival of the first sweet corn out of the garden.
On an emotional level, I see myself as a caregiver who enjoys giving and frequently has a hard time receiving. Recently, I had one of my families at work tell me how they love me as a doctor. I have learned to say thank you and am becoming much better at hearing that when said. I learned long ago that the best physician is one who listens well and expresses care and interest in addition to making the right diagnosis and treatment. As an only child, one of the things that I really missed was having siblings. I always dreamed of having a brother and at one point had an imaginary brother. I have had some close friends in the past and have a wonderful partner with four brothers, but it was getting involved with GSV that allowed me to feel that I really have that family, that brotherhood, that I missed. I have come to realize that the intellectual challenges are good, powerful and a great adrenalin fix, but it is the feeling of true friendship and care that I experience with many of you in GSV that keeps me going and giving, letting me experience that natural high that can only be felt and not thought.
Lem Arnold is a 54-year-old physician, partner and son and educates health care professionals on culturally competent care for the LGBTI. He lives in Atlanta and LaFayette, GA.
This article was originally published in the Summer 2006 issue of GSV’s Visionary journal. Read the original article in the Visionary.
A POSITIVE PERSPECTIVE – 2015 Follow up
Following my bliss 10 years later finds a life that is little more complicated. With the onset of physical problems – specifically my back problems – I have come to realize that there can be limitations in life and I am not ready for those. I can no longer ride the tractor and gardening has become picking only. I had one major surgery and am hoping that I do not have to have another one. I still get the patient gratitude fix – back to work after 3 ½ months off after surgery – and hugs from my brothers in GSV, but I am uncertain what the future will be. How mobile and free of pain will I be? So I will keep on working a while longer, contemplating retirement in the not too distant future and trying to keep a positive outlook. So for the time being, it is taking life just one day at a time.